As an Indian, I immensely take pride in its culture, tradition, heritage, history, spirituality, plus the very fond of snacking and raging. Indian kitchens are a laboratory of bustling experiments with substance and teasing with flavours resulting in savouries ranging from sweet to spicy, tangy to salty, crunchy to chewy.
In addition to our own exhausting range of cuisines, we welcome with open arms, the rest of the delicacies from across the globe. Amongst that ‘noodles’-our adaption from once beloved neighbour stands top on the chart.
Whenever hungry tummy cries, instantly I think of Maggi toppled with egg burji. Its yummy, easy and instant. Aren’t Indians somewhat like Maggi? Thinking how? Lemme break it down.
1st: Fill a wok with water and boil it – Indians get boiled with rage over issues as petty as movies, where the Karni Sena wants the head of the director and chopped nose of an actress. Nah, not to garnish the Maggi that’s getting cooked but to channelise their inhibited gush of testosterone. Although, behind the closed doors of their private homes, their women are treated like a mere stack of flesh. And yet get provoked over dead Queen’s (existed or mythological) reputation.
Next: Break chunky noodle into four pieces – But sadly, our nation isn’t just broken into four, but into uncountable. The lessons I learnt back in school, Unity in Diversity, is what I sometimes doubt. Religion, region, caste, creed, custom, upper class, middle class, lower class, Hindi speaking, Malayalis, Southies, Northies, Bengalis, North-East, elite, poor, untouchable and etc etc etc. And for what? Damn!! I have blood, that’s red and you? I breathe oxygen, that’s universal and you?
Then: Now add Maggi masala to the above – Alas, similarly our highly qualified politicians (in causing rage only), further add petrol, diesel, gasoline and what not to the already embroiling situations. By making statements like, “90% of rape cases are consensual” (Argh, really? Until your womenfolk claims otherwise!).
Further intensifying situations and making the already ruckus rebels (with no cause) mated with unemployment, to vent out their frustration with the slightest provocation. Making them get busy burning temples, churches and mosques, whilst they are getting away with murder and rape of the nation.
Later: Mix em together – Mixing baffled youth with lucrative propaganda, in the name of religion, for dirty politics of vote bank ultimately to fill their Swiss bank a/c (but why ?? when after all we and they are taken in the white shroud and four shoulders! Hard fought dollars and pounds never accompanies.). Tippu Sultan, Mughals, Delhi Sultanate who were once taught as heroes who fought the British villains, suddenly turn traitors. History is altered, the present is hodgepodge and future seem abysmal.
Lastly: Cook for two minutes – When the dear rulers of the nation have well foddered the jobless nincompoops with anger, hate, disgust, anxiety, resentment, hostility, despair, fear, apathy leading to rage at the slightest indifference. While our ministrants very astutely cooked the nation and wantoning under their extravagant, opulent and lavish bungalows.
Meanwhile, turning our home into unbrotherly fights for land (J&K battle), like an estranged spouse, demanding freedom from central government(North-East insurgency), Maoist, similarly to a stubborn child, revolting over the capitalist government, wrestling in Parliament (sparing not even chairs and tables). And more serious problems within are infamous poverty, deficient sanitation, inadequate education, futile inflation, cancerous corruption, rueful unemployment.
Bingo!!! Off the gas and the piping hot Maggi is ready to eat. Yes, topping it with burji pleases the taste buds even better. Maggi has met its purpose of filling the rumbling stomach and what about we citizens? When are we going to stand united and banish the evils wrapped under the layers of counterfeit patriotism and chauvinist culture?